I find out today how the new journey begins... from the bottom (of the insight spectrum). It is December 17th. My grandfather passed away 6 years and 1 month today. To which I know he held a life full of achievement, and the late, a newly found empathy. Grandmothers, how you always pushed for me to have a joyous and exploratory endeavor in life, I loved you all. Today I live for you, and as long as you owed your time to mine, I honor that. Through this lively obstacle course I learn less about the world and more about what the world has molded me to appeal in the temptations of an easily muttered vibration; trust in word. I've made many mistakes and I'll continue to make mistakes because there's no excuse to excuse excusing mistakes... and my memory may have once been blessed, but now it is tried and untrue. What I accomplished in the fall of 2013 was the end of a 19 semester long war, the battle won with my grit minus a few chipped teeth, a few mini strokes, and sure to be some stress related cv/heart disease to come. Through all of the anguish and nights I crammed for a test I had the time to put in, but decided something extracurricular needed my attention instead, I scrapped by. I survived; I'm a survivor.

-2013 Wichita State University Graduate

Globulin space ~ Smashing Pumpkin reference

There is a melon-cholera that comes straight out of displacement.. where do limitations drive us to the uncertainty of a floating sense, where recognition is apparent, of what changes can be made more easily than others? The drawback; when creative insight lacks to flourish, and there is no more 'used to,' but depict what isn't naturally condoned, and that uncomfortably peers through a longing and bony cheek, jaw, socket.. where the edges were once rounded now they're linear and rocky, and the beauty isn't behind, or in front, or present. The pathos ends up swelling into some offset pit that's the size of Texas. The pattern's are choking us from the inside out. The invented resources evolve for other meanings, and the exploitation becomes too complex for the initial root to be accurately deciphered. Contributions, nonetheless, aren't lost, but roll off due to subjective distraction and the oxygen needed becomes wasted. The dissolute is an oasis and all we can get out of is the new distraction from the path that we don't follow. Is the reward as justified as we need it to be? Insert Jurassic 5 to the Dave Matthews Band.
This is where I start to justify the grittiness of what keeps us alive, ignoring the confusion, and appeal to boiling water tasting much better after the action completes the notion.

Someone's waiting, watch your steps...

We don't seek melodramatics, we don't walk to match the step before, we don't breathe to die, and we certainly don't strive to dissappoint. When we do flatten our image, provoke the caring, misinterpret our true selves, and disrespect the respectful, it's a matter of self effacy. Creativity and our emotional appeals don't strengthen us, they break us down and demote our ignorance from blissful insight to intellectual snobbyness. So we assume, judge, inference; the perfect inhuman stereotypical foreshadow. We don't have our instincts because we lose our natural intuition to deep thought. We fuck up, distance ourselves from the laughter, the reality, and the great times we have in front of us, we refuse to the caboose. But the circles are never ending and one moment is always different from the next. The sun shines the moon, and the shadow grows to fade. I'm taking my deep breath, I'm counting on tomorrow, I'm giving time to make up everything I've borrowed.

Moving Stress

I found a hill once and ascended it to find a fountain of ecstacy. The trip was exhilerating, I met some peeps with the same intrigue and fascinations I was all about. "My body tells me noooo, but I won't quit, cause I won't knooooow..." The shit hit the fan on the down and when the hill concaved and deteriorated completely a Mount Circle and 2 O'Clock Arrow, tried to show me a new horizon. Skeptical as I've always been, I shrugged it off, not in disbelief but in quality concern of the peak's stability. It's slope was most slipery but my gloves seemed to have the mandable friction needed to keep up and I gave in. I'm in a limbo stage now, where peaks below me rumble and shift, and like low elevated clouds, peaks protrude down from above. They're clinching like carnivors, and it's getting harder to determine which peaks will revert back to the path I planned around. Change is my necessity and while some rocks crumble and sift through my imperfect grip my feet hold strong beneath me. The rock solid stability keeps me levitating toward the essence of others, to their liking or dismay. 50/50 is worse than 10/90 in any situation, specifically making predictability normal and unpredictability negative. If I knew everything about Mount Circle and 2 O'Clock Arrow there would be no incline, no personal intrigue, no misinterpretations, nothing to find pleasurable about the experience of emotions and motivations for reaching the Mount's summit and whatever truths relevant, waiting to be collaboratively shown to both of us. So through all the gorges and endless pits and cranies and the avalanches waiting to be shook, the obstacle not physical but mental, is the pathway I tread through for my ultimate sacrifice of self. Curiosity gave the cat character, choice gave it direction, and chance gave it hope.

Bow -Chicka -Wow- Wow, what you gonna say?..

Focus lost in hocus pocus...

Generally speaking, life is about happiness, but if we fail at prioritizing to a point where we can't reciprocate useful thoughts then we're lost in translation. From a cognitive standpoint how we tap into certain personalities conducive to specific situations is beyond my comprehension. Is this an issue of information or experience overload? How can we differentiate between the right actions socially, when we're involved in so many other altruistic activities for the betterment of our futures? Imbalances, specifically in schedules, relationships, friendships, school, work, excercise and hobbies, I believe change our personalities. From an economic standpoint if we're unable to acheive our goals and change sets us back, stress literally takes over our cognitions.

It's tough for us be formally genuine in these mindsets because we're not owning up to our insights, rather we're living to be less frustrated instead of being explorative and retaining what we know is important to us. From a personal standpoint I feel like everything I have the capability to do I should, whether intellectual or physical, share with other people. Those individuals who give me the time of day deserve this presence, and the utmost respect and attentive conversation, in bullshitting or meaningful exchanges. Creativity is lost in hocus pocus where our most recent experiences overwhelm our true selves.

Musician of the segment post: Liam Gerner

March Madness - What goes around, Comes Around

I had USC playing KU in a re-match and losing. How wrong was I, not as wrong as most, my bracket was in the 58th percentile. Virginia Commonwealth rocked the world last week, but Wichita State in the NIT is taking New York City and the great Madison Square Garden by the throat with a dominating performance, crushing Washington State by more than thirty points. Wichita State lost to VCU by one at home on a contoversial foul call that sent the Rams' star point guard to the line with .4 seconds remaining in regultion. Earlier in the year Wichita State played an unranked UCONN squad in the Maui preseason tournament and lost due to zebras with heavy lungs and a 29 point second half performance by arguably the best player in the country. I'm predicting Butler vs. Kentucky in the tournament final. What concerns me about the final four of the NCAA Tournament is Connecticut, not to take anything away from their brilliant freshmen and Kemba Walker, but their coach, who broke the rules and won't serve the consequences the proceding season. This is madness because the general public, discounting sports figures, don't get away with breaking laws, until it's convenient. The truth that money, popularity, and television runs the social spectrum is obvious. We don't need a magnifying glass to see that Jim Tressel at Ohio State should be fired for lying to the NCAA, let alone his own employer, Ohio State University. Personally this has very little affect on all of us but I guess life was meant to be unfair so when these issues arrise we should continue to pursue that which affects us the closest, including watching the coverage of the all falsing press. When will we make the ultimate sacrifices to save our integrity. This is an afterthought, Paradise doesn't concieve these issues. Oh well, I keep winning money on the ish, *uck it.

PCB, FL The South and One Long Pretentous Fairy Tale

This is what life existed for.. Baseball on the beach ending with a dome-check from aiming at beercans off of pvc pipe stuck in the white sand. Spring break was so eventful, I couldn't find any other reason to leave but to come home and bury my head in books in order to get back to paradise. When I got back to Wichita I found myself ornery enough to begin something, something I had convinced myself I wouldn't do continuously throughout the 22 hour drive home, download new music. It's lack of significance is disheartening but I guess it's one of the few necessary mind-warping guilty pleasures I endulge in. In the bottom picture Jon and I are finishing up at the beach, walking back to the Majestic Resort Thursday, two days before the beginning of the rest of our lives. The people in Panama City are amazing, full of joy and beauty. It's hard to believe only 12-15 thousand inhabit the area especially with their greatest season lasting 9 months.

I. Had. The time of my liiiiife. With epiphanys evident in the social, evolutionary, and the unreal perspective, dreams exuberated reality. Moderation is the key in every fathomable way, but Kid Ink's song "Let it Go," speaks the pursuit of life, work for happiness, I think therefore I chase. Steady pace, keeps the race. Tap it.

Side Note- Jackson, Mississppi has extremely good cajun, if you order the right entree (Crawfish etoufee). ;) Big Hair, heeeeey!